Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
