You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
