This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
