what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
