Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You've changed since you got that strap on
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
