The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
