No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
