Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
