This is not my ceiling
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
