Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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