If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
