i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
