I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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