I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
