Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
