It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
