Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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