White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
