we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
