I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
