I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
