Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
