watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
