If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
