One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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