Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
