Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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