ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
