i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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