I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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