I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I need a burrito and a hug.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
