There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
