Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
