There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
