high people should be assigned attendants
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
