so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Small penises have feelings too.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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