It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
