fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
