I faked an abortion last night.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
