Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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