if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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