The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
