He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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