Do you still have your period?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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