Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
