I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
