I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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