I murdered the dance floor call the cops
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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