You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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