Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
