Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
