Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you made out with another girl for some wings
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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