this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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